my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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