last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
