Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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