i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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