Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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