Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
