Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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