Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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