ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
