It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
