I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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