Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
