is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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