is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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