I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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