can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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