My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
