this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
