I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
