He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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