You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
