I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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