Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its liver damage thursday
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
