remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
