he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
