Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
