did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
