is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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