I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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