Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
