butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i don't like sucking hair
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize