What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
