she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
