i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
