I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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