his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
