Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
