I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
