Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
