i don't plan on having that self control this summer
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Two words: nipple clamps
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