i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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