the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
