Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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