Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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