wanna go halves on a baby?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
