Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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