Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
