So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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