so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
