it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
