Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
