? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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